I'm back...and I'm READY!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What a morning!  H and  I really worked as a team & had a true kick-butt, wonderlicious morning!

It started with a 30 minute walk "stroller-style" around the neighborhood.  We had been going around 9 am which was already feeling like a sweltering volcano.  But today we went at 7 am and it was beyond perfect!

After a bottle & a poor attempt at feeding her cereal, I strapped her in her car seat & off we went to the gym.  I won't tell a lie (this time)...I was pretty nervous about how this whole kids' club & little Ms H was going to work out.

When we arrived, I ponied up the $5 daily charge to try it out before I splurged on the $20/month fee.  I walked her into "the club" and immediately started my nervous chattering.  I have no idea why I do this but, let me tell you, it earns you some pretty strange looks. 

There was another baby in there about H's age or so & then a bunch of older (but young) kids.  My nerves were peaked while I thought about all the germs, potential for tramplings, etc.  As a matter of fact, the germ thought entered mine when I startled awake at 4 am.  I texted my mom with my fear (knowing she was up) & she had very logical advice.  H can't live in a bubble!!  And, with Tay, germs were bound to happen.  It will help build her immune system.

After considerable amounts of nerve-provoked blabbering, I went about my workout.  First on the list, the elliptical for 30 min.  Time usually creeps along when on that beast - especially with no iPod or gossip mag!  But it is even LONGER when you are wondering how the nugget is faring.  Add that crazy head game with constant staff announcements over the intercom (which is how they would page you if something was wrong) and my heart rate was elevated beyond the normal out-of-shape heart rate the elliptical creates!

I had decided while elliptcal'ing that I would limit this first workout to 45 minutes & then work up to an hour as H & I both get used to the new routine.  I did 15 min of abs after my cardio, took a nice relaxing pee and then headed to the club.

As I was walking in, I heard a baby crying.  Only for a split second was I worried until I quickly realized that wasn't H's cry.  Just then, one of the staff members walked around the corner with Ms H in her arms.  H was smiling at all the kids & just didn't seem the least bit phased!  I asked how she did & the lady said she did great!  Didn't cry once.  Yay H!!!

We got in the car & I debated whether or not to feed her since we were so close to nap time.  But I thought better of it & decided to head on home.  Sure enough, H was passed out (after chatterboxing to me for a bit) in her seat well before we hit the freeway.

This morning couldn't have been a better start to our routine!  I am hoping it isn't just a fluke & that tomorrow will go the same way.  Here's the schedule as of now:

Mon - Thur: gym/club days
Fri - Mom's group (planning on joining) unless something else is planned
Sat/Sun - off

Morning routine:
6-6:30 am - H wakes up
6:30 - 7 am - Put her in daytime clothes, feed cats/pup
7 - 7:30 am - 30 min walk around neighborhood
7:30 - 8 am - H's breakfast
8 - 8:30 am - drive to gym
8:30 - 9:15 am - workout
9:15 - 9:45 am - drive home
10 am - nap time

I am so excited!!  It felt great being back at the gym.  My walk around the neighborhood is a light workout (hills & such) but NOTHING compared to what I do at the gym.  So ready to get my body back!!

Front butt, begone!!

It's ON

Monday, June 7, 2010

A'ight b!!tches!!  It is ON!  I am ready to take this front butt back to the dealer.  I am ready to bring sexy back!  Who's with me?? 

H and I checked out the Kid's Club at the gym today and I am now feeling better about leaving her in there while I go kick my front butt to the curb!!  Ok, taking off my hard ass hat...I am a little nervous about leaving H with some girls I don't know.  But I will be RIGHT THERE!  Momma needs some momma time!  Momma needs to get rid of this loose case and get a 12 pack!  I am looking forward to sweating, cussing and making myself hurt so bad I limp out of there. 

Wish me luck!  I will report back on my progress!!

When a plan fails...

Friday, May 14, 2010

If at first you don't succeed...well, you come up with a new plan. 

Although absence does make the heart grow fonder...in this case it has made my ass grow wider.  I have really and truly completely slacked like a true professional slacker when it has come to this "diet/workout" plan that I put together for myself.  It is quite embarrassing, actually...

HOWEVER, I won't let that stop me from pursuing the tight body that I so desperately want!!  It just may not happen in the initial timeframe that I set for myself.  Eh...so be it.

Check out the new non-committal attitude on Spencer!! 

Here's the thing...
I don't work out well at home.  It just DOESN'T happen!  Not even with the coolest gadgets, videos or whatever.  There are just too many distractions and I just don't feel like it is a "real" workout (even though Jillian does leave a mark).

In order for me to feel like I am making a difference, I need to go to a gym...get outside of my comfort zone (the living room) and into an environment that screams sweat and tears!  I think it is a motivator to see others busting their butts to get fit.  And, yes, even the gym whores make me more motivated...I want to have a body to where I can wear a sports bra and hot pants and walk confidently among the masses.  Let me just say that I am a complete realist and know that this won't EVER happen without major reconstructive and plastic surgery...or just a complete rebirth.  BUT it does make me strive for the best body I can muster.

My diet has been truly suffering lately (but, boy, has it been yummy).  The mind game for me is this...I know diet isn't the end all be all...it is really nothing at all.  It must be combined with cardio and weights to really make any bit of difference.  Or at least the difference I'm looking for.  So, until my ass is jigglin' like jello on the gym treadmill, my mind tells my mouth, eh, go ahead and have those nachos off the menu or that tall, frosty beer on the patio or that calming rum and diet at the end of a hectic day.  Why not??

Sidenote, out of convenience sake only, I have been pretty consistent with those Smart Ones meals for breakfast, lunch and - since T has been out of town all week - dinner.  The sodium in those diet meals is enough to kill a small herd but it makes me feel a little better that I am eating those versus McDonalds fries and a chocolate shake.  But it truly is for convenience.  Taking care of H barely leaves time to pee not to mention cook something other than with the microwave!

My new game plan?

Bitch & moan about my ever expanding ass & slowly developing front butt until H reaches her 6 month birthday.  When that happens, I will tote her, a blanket and some toys to the gym with me.  I will sit her in the sitting services room which is right there so I can check on her if needed and be the ever devoted slave that I am to her every baby need!  Then I can work out as long as I want (or as long as boss lady will let me) and really feel accomplished.  That will help motivate me to order the salad instead of the nachos and only have my vices (beer, rum, etc) on weekends only...and only if I earned it.

The crazy thing is...the size larger pants I bought are a bit too big now but my pre-pregnancy jeans create such a muffin top, French bakeries would be jealous.  I guess my body shape is still adjusting...not sure if it is an adjustment I really like.  But I am looking fiorward to getting back to the gym, sweating, moaning, groaning, panting...

I will post from time to time in case my pants get looser or I just want to share how horribly bad I've been!  That way you can see the total debacle before the "new" me.  Maybe my poor choices and fat pouty lip will motivate others to keep going!! 

Ok, now to find me a Smart One for breakfast!

One small step towards thin, one GIANT leap towards summer...

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Another wonderful morning spent with my new BFF (that I hate dearly), Jillian.  She never has anything new to say and, actually, gets on my nerves with her repetitive talk.  There should be a way to turn off the narration and just leave the music.  Or make her work out with us - ok, sure, she has a tight bum but nothing makes me angrier than a trainer walking around the work out room telling me what to do and how to do it...who's counting, for god sake?

So, that makes it two days in a row on the exercise.  Am I jumping up and down for joy?  Well, no...first of all my legs are so sore I am lucky to make it up the stairs without stopping to rest.  But I am also not going to get all bent out of shape about it since it is only day two and I bailed out before...I could always bail out again.

The food thing is not going as well.  I haven't been eating much but, what I have eaten, isn't necessarily the lowest in calories.  This week is going to be kinda hard because we have something to do everyday which has us eating at restaurants a lot more.  It is really SUPER hard to eat well at restaurants.  Even meals that are deemed "healthy" by the restaurant are still more calories than I am allocated for a day..or a week!  So I am focusing more on portion control as much as possible.

Sidenote:  I might need to check in with a doctor soon...my feet are really starting to hurt on top.  It usually happens at night and first thing in the morning - I get up and feel like my feet are "locked."  They hurt...almost like arthritis.  Sucks getting old.

I bought my first fat suit today...skirt and all!  It is a two piece (hahahaha!  no, not a bikini.  i wouldn't do that to anyone) tankini type thing.  The top has a gather in the center so it a) keeps the top off of my belly...it more "drapes" over my gut and b) distracts (I hope) from the gut.  And then there is the skirt bottoms.  Haha!  I used to make fun of those old, cellulite-ridden, saggy boobed women that would wear the skirts (along with their bingo sunvisor) to the pool to do their "laps."  Well, make room ladies.  I am now a part of the club.  My name is Dawna and I am fat.  "Hello Dawna."

Tomorrow will be another work out followed by a Smart One lunch meal.  Tomorrow night we are heading to a mexican restaurant with the fam.  Fat grams galore once again.  Oh well.  Have I told you about my skirt??  "Hello Dawna."

Check in on Friday...

Day 1...again

Monday, April 26, 2010

I am back at it.  Will I fail (again), I don't know.  But I am back...for now at least.  I am not going to totally focus on diet (although I am certainly watching what I eat) but I am going to focus on working out.  And, yes, Jillian and I had a visit together today and it was just as torturous as it was before!  But I am so proud of myself (and not of Jillian, she didn't even do half of the workout!  Had her girls working harder!). 

Breakfast: Nothing...I know, bad...but I had to take care of baby.
Lunch: Chili taco salad from Quiznos - fattening for sure
Dinner: Smart One pizzas (we were going to make burgers - which would have been "bad" but we watched Avatar instead)

Workout: 30 Day Shred

Tomorrow, bathing suit shopping at Target.  Wish me luck...ok, not enough luck in the world to make me blind!!

FRIDAY IS CHECK IN!!  WHO'S IN??

Remember me?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Oh hell yeah...I have been a total flake (I hope you didn't buy that evil twin scandal)!  And, other than the occassional Smart One boxed meals (because of convenience only), I have been one bad mo fo...and bad as in bad, not bad as in good!  I have totally flaked and, any small 1/4 of an ounce I may have lost the one pathetic week I tried my "plan" is on my ass times ten.

But leave it to my dear friend that has resurfaced from harsh high school days to bring me back in line!  She has set up a challenge...a way for us to be accountable to each other.  And she is a tough one!  She will make sure I feel like a piece of dog poo if she works out but I don't.  Ok, she really isn't like that but I am hoping she will be for my motivation sake!

So Monday starts the so called fun.  Back to eating healthy and low fat along with some sort of ball busting work out routine that will get these rolls flattened.  Who's with us for a Friday check-in??

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Maybe I need to do what Kirstie Alley has done...make money off of my fat!  She tried every plan (I'm guessing) and even became spokesperson for Jenny Craig.  But, once she handed off to Valerie Bertinelli, she stopped by the local bakery and dived into a cake with buttercream icing.  Now she is just giving up and showing the world that she is just fat and that's it in her new show - The Big Life. Maybe she has the right idea.



I have really sucked donkey turds on this "getting back into shape" idea.  Actually, I have done great with the idea I just haven't done great with the execution.  I know I can do it - I have done it before.  But I am not doing it right now and I am completely out of excuses.  Completely.  Now it is just a matter of "being busy" or being lazy about it.  Whatever the case, I am sure I will make the effort when I am good and ready.  Well, I am good and ready.  But, then again, I sit here with a lumpy belly and a jiggly rear. 

Ok, so hang in there with me.  I will share the good, bad and the ugly (which is where I am now).  You may be here with me now in the gutter but we will be on top of the world in...well, whenever we get there, let's schedule a happy hour together!  Virtually, if we have to.