Weekend blues

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I was so excited to get a new hair look that I decided that, even though I haven't really worked out over the weekend (and not really pretty much means NOT AT ALL), I was going to shop for a few pair of jeans that will actually button and zip instead of jeans that have the stomach insert for pregnant women.  Can we say BIG FAT FAIL!!!  I went to Ross and saw nothing but crap jeans (but did find two pairs of shoes I really liked and bought).  I, then, went to Old Navy and tried on jeans a size (ONE size) larger than my pre-pregnancy jeans.  It wasn't happening...at all...and I teared up in the dressing room.  It ruined my day (at least the next couple of hours of it) because I am SOOO tired of dealing with this gut/ass situation.  So tired of it.  I just wanted to go home.

After stopping at Target for one last attempt (and finding nothing but ugliness and, by then, I was just done) we headed home.  I felt defeated, fat, frumpy and itchy from the damn maternity jeans I am forced to wear.  And, I know our men just want us to feel all warm and fuzzy inside but DON'T tell me I am NOT fat and that I am so cute and whatnot when I just failed at simply buying a pair of jeans that fit.  When pants don't pull up over your fat ass, that's your sign.

Of course this motivates me for the week to come.  The challenge?  I have meetings all day tomorrow and then leaving town on Thursday to take H home to Louisville with me (being the fat moo cow that I am - UGH).  So I will be only able to work out Tuesday and Wednesday and, one of those days will be the day that H and I find me some damn jeans to wear - at a store that has real sizes that make sense and jeans that don't look like crap.

So how low can I get about this left over baby weight.  I am just SOOO over it.  I feel like I am trying but then, days like today, I feel like I am obviously not doing enough.  Will I EVER be able to do enough??  I'm tired of feeling and looking five months pregnant.  I was pregnant long enough...I want my damn body back.

Weekend mindset

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Eh, not much to post other than I am off the fitness wagon until Monday...I mean, Tuesday (Monday I have meetings all day).  Well, that's sure gonna suck!  Especially when I meet up with that crazy such'n such of a trainer Jillian!  Whew.  Not looking forward to that. 

Other than a rum and diet or two last night, I didn't do too bad.  T's Mom and SDad came over for dinner and I made tacos with ground turkey.  I only had two - I was distracted away from dinner to give H her bath and put her down.  But that's good because it helped me steer clear of taco #3.  So, it definitely wasn't a GOOD day but it wasn't a HORRIBLE one either.  I am sure I could have done better but the healthy side of my brain tends to shut down on the weekends.  I guess it stems back to when I had a full time job and felt that the weekends were a reward for a hard week...I continue those thoughts even as a housewife, stay at home, work from home Mom!  We all deserve a fun weekend without ties to a wicked fitness DVD or three meals a day of salad.  No, this isn't the right way to think....but it is MY way!

I am getting my hair and brows done tonight!  OH WOW how bad do I need this???  I really can't wait.  It is going to feel great.  I think I am just going to go in and say "do whatever you think will look good.  I don't care.  Long or short...whatev."  I am feeling daring and brave.  And whatever...it will grow back.  As long as she doesn't color it pink or shave me bald, I am good to go (just be sure to cover the GRAY).  I will post a pic later...

Short but sweet (sugar free of course)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I am pretty tired tonight.  I will post a better update tomorrow.  I did do pretty good today other than the four fried ravioli (they call them "baked" but the grease says otherwise) I had before having a HUGE yummy salad at Oreganos.  But no drinks and no other fattening items.  Actually, we had lunch late so I haven't eaten dinner either.  But I'm not hungry - just tired.  So I am going to get some sleep while the gettin' is good.

Oh, and I did do my SHRED.  Cussed a bit less so I might be feeling a little stronger.  I can tell you now that tomorrow will not include a work out.  I have a lunch meeting that I need to prepare for ahead of time and then Tay, my stepdaughter, will be here.  We are also having T's Mom and SDad coming over for dinner so working out probably won't happen again until Monday, realistically.  And, realistically, I will probably be somewhat BAD over the weekend.  But next week starts anew! 

Sorry for the short entry.  I am out for now but will update you on how bad I am being (or good - pfsh, yeah right) over the weekend...

Thanks to all of you for your support this first week.  It was a shaky first week with a shaky weekend to follow but, at least I worked out EVERY day!!  YAY for me!

Goodnight for now...

Day 3 - Eh...

I didn't do TOO bad yesterday but I certainly wasn't GOOD either.  My meals during the day were very admirable and I did do the 30 Day Dread...I mean Shred...for my exercise.  But I did end the night with two great friends - Amy Lou and Dos Equis Amber.  We had SUCH a great time - lots of laughs - if I have to stay fat another day, it was WELL worth it!

So that's TWO nights in a row that I have let my vice take over my mind.  Tonight I will not be tempted by the cocktail gods.  Today will be a CLEAN UP day!  I am going to be good, work out and drink tea and water all day.  I will do the same tomorrow and maybe allow myself to enjoy a cocktail on Saturday night...or even Sunday when the house becomes quiet again.

I am going to weigh myself tomorrow to see how much or little I have lost (if I even lost at all...what if I gained?  YIKES).  I am also going to suck it up and go out this weekend to look for size ICK jeans to hold me over until I can SHED some of this flab.  I told myself that I would NOT give in and buy Momma britches or get the Momma haircut.  But I think I am going to buy bigger britches for now.  I am just overly tired of wearing maternity pants that sag in the crotch because, even though I have a baby belly bump, it isn't big enough to hold up the pants.  Plus, I am longing to actually button and zip some pants!  I haven't done that in over a year!

About the Momma haircut...I think I am going to stick with long hair.  After talking with some friends and just realizing it on my own...if I cut my hair, I will always feel like I need to fix it.  And that is exactly what I am trying to avoid.  If I have a Momma cut, I can't pull it back in a clip or ponytail - which is the absolute easiest styling ever and one that has been pretty standard here lately.  Now...do I want bangs or no??  One thing is FOR SURE!  The gray has GOT to be covered.  It is bad enough that I feel like a frumpy 5 month pregnant beast with rolls, I don't want to look like an OLD one!!  Ahh, I cannot WAIT until Saturday!!  Time for a little spa action for Momma!

So here is the summary of yesterday's attempt:

Meals:
Breakfast - Smart Ones Breakfast Quesadilla (note to others who may want to try these - I think they are really good but don't heat them up for as long as the directions say or you might as well eat a rock with some fake eggs on it.  It calls for it to be heated for 2:15...I would heat it for 1:50.)
Lunch - Salad with spinach, spring mix, golden raisins, feta, tomatoes, slivered almonds
No snacks
Dinner - Baked cumin crusted chicken with an orange-chipotle sauce (homemade), baked rosemary and garlic red potatoes (mixed in EV olive oil - no butter), and lots of hummus with ritz crackers (ugh, ritz are VERY fattening).
Beers - no, I didn't count!! 

Workout:
30 Day Shred Level 1 (which is still kicking my ass)

How will today pan out??  I will post tonight with an update.

Day 2 = FAIL

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I did everything right all day today...until tonight.  I totally blame T for my failure (even though I know it is all my fault - reminds me of a Jimmy Buffet song). 

My day rocked!  I worked out, ate right and even went to the store to stock up on healthy, low fat options.  But T really wanted to have a couple of adult cocktails together (as we like to do after putting H to bed...or one before we do while I am fixing dinner).  I couldn't hold back.  It was such an awesome day...it just seemed fitting to have a couple of cocktails together!  That is OUR time together.  It was hard to resist...and I failed to resist.

But let me focus on the good!

Meals for today:
Breakfast - Special K Vanilla Almond with 2% milk
Snack - 1 Light Sting Cheese, 10 Reduced Fat Wheat Thins, 1/2 cup salsa
Lunch - Smart Ones
Dinner - Cabbage wrap with lean ground turkey
Water - none, but I had a ton of ice tea (bad I know)
Drinks - it is a party foul to count, folks!

Exercise:
30 Day Shred Level 1 - OMG!!!!!!  I am hurting already...but ready for tomorrow!  That Jillian...OMG!!!  For those who are thinking about trying it out - maybe start with 3 lb weights instead of 5 like I did.  But I am not backing down from 5 now...especially after tonight.  I might do the video AND the Wii Fit tomorrow to make up for tonight!

Peer pressure sucks...especially when it is your handsome, loving, best friend of a husband.  Damn him!  But we are having an awesome night and...life is too short.  We should enjoy every moment of every day. And we are!  With many more fun moments to come.  Isn't that what it's all about???  Well, and me fitting back into my 8's!  DAMMIT!

Day 1 = Success

Monday, March 22, 2010

My first picture posting - yikes.  I was planning on really revealing the rolls by wearing just my sports bra and my yoga pants but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  For you, for the camera, for whoever may stumble upon this blog and especially for myself.  It is bad enough to see me in the workout tank and yoga pants.  Bleh!!!!  BLEH!!!!  But I have to realize that at least I am doing something about it.  And, what I'm NOT doing is buying jeans the next size up.  I refuse...ok, I might crack and get two pairs so that I have something to wear until I reach my goal but...THAT'S IT!!  =P



No, folks.  I am not pregnant again.  I may look to be about five or six months here but, trust me, it is all flab and fat.  Oh it is so disgusting.  At this rate, I certainly won't be putting on a bathing suit come summer.  I will add that to my goals.  Be able to wear a bathing suit by summer.  Even if it IS Granny suit with a pretty floral skirt!

My meals today (admitting to everything):
Breakfast:  SlimFast Chocolate shake/Water
Lunch: Spinach salad with 1 TBSP feta, a pinch of slivered almonds, tomatoes and green onions topped with FF Catalina Dressing (2 TBSP approx)
Snacks: 2 Low Fat String Cheese, 16 Reduced Fat Wheat Thins, 1/2 cup hot picante salsa/Water
Dinner: Baked Southwestern Chicken (1/2 a breast), 1 cup brown rice with rotelle chopped tomatoes and green chilis, steamed broccoli (with a spritz of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), ice tea

My exercise today:
Jillian's Wii Fit workout with so many ab exercises I thought I was going to puke!!  60 crunches, 60 obliques (60 on each side), 99 YES 99 bicycle legs, 5 minute run, 60 jumping jacks, 40 side lunges, and I know I am missing something...oh, 20 pushups. 

Add in the housework I did (laundry up and down the steps), and maybe I burned me up some CALS!!

I'm pretty excited because I received my Jillian 30 day Shred in the mail today.  I heard this DVD is ruthless!  Perfect!  I can't wait to be beaten on tomorrow!  H just watches me work out.  She is so good!  She was quiet during a conference call, just hangin out with her paci and then she also let me work out for 30 min before getting her bottle for her.  What a girl!!

Obviously no big weight loss or inches lost to report tonight.  But I am patting myself on the back for a hardy workout, a low fat meal day and not ending my night with a cocktail that T and I enjoy so much after putting nugget to bed.  Saving myself for my weekend reward!!  I CAN do this!

What is your goal?  Any tips?  Thanks to all of you who sent me some fantastic and YUMMY ideas for low fat meals and snacks.  I am going to the grocery and farmer's market tomorrow to stock up on low fat supplies.  I am totally going to make those yummy ideas!  I will post them after I make them and give credit where credit is due!

Thanks to all of you who have commented either here or on FB.  If you want to follow me on FB, the button is to the side.  You can comment on here if you'd like!  I don't know what I did but somehow the comments work now.

Pre-Day 1

Sunday, March 21, 2010

It is time.  It has been almost three months since giving birth to my beautiful baby girl.  And, some may think that fat rolls, stretch marks and flab is a success measure of being a new Mom.  And that is totally fine if it works for them.  But, it does NOT work for me.  I was very fit before I became pregnant and that was after being incredibly huge for two years...I mean HUGE!  With a lot of discipline, diet change and exercise, I was able to make it from a size 18 to a size 8 in about a year.  I am now probably in a size 10 (I am STILL wearing freakin' maternity pants which hang low down low) but still wearing pants that don't fit.  Forget size 8s.  My fat arse will barely squeeze in even with a slab of Crisco.

So here I am.  Another blog to keep up with - more accountability to manage.  I am ready.  Tomorrow is the day.  Tonight I had a container of fattening nachos from a local mexican drive-thru (maybe that will clear the pipes) and several rum and diet cokes.  My big grand finale before the big kick-off.

Tomorrow it starts.  Here is the plan:

> Diet - more nutritious.  Logged daily on myfitnesspal.com.  Water or tea for beverages.  Adult beverages allowed as a treat on Sat and/or Sun (depending on the level of reward)
> Exercise - to the gym when T's schedule will allow.  Otherwise, Wii Fit (Jillian version) and 30 day Shred when it arrives from Amazon (should be this week)
> Accountability - this is where this blog and YOU come in! 

Tomorrow is the big day.  Day 1.  I will be posting a beginning pic - no holds bar.  Rolls a flappin'.  I don't care about embarrassment.  I don't care about modesty.  I care about results.  And that is what I want to see. 

My goal: 135 lbs (if I lose more, so be it!)
Current weight: 155 lbs
Current inches:
> Bust = 38"
> Waist = 38"
> Hips = 41"

No Barbie here, my friends.  And I am not looking to be one.  But I am looking to fit into 8s...with some space!  I want to have my flat abs back and my tone arms and legs.  It's time.  However I need to do it.  It is time.

Day 1, here I come BIATCHES!!!