Weekend blues

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I was so excited to get a new hair look that I decided that, even though I haven't really worked out over the weekend (and not really pretty much means NOT AT ALL), I was going to shop for a few pair of jeans that will actually button and zip instead of jeans that have the stomach insert for pregnant women.  Can we say BIG FAT FAIL!!!  I went to Ross and saw nothing but crap jeans (but did find two pairs of shoes I really liked and bought).  I, then, went to Old Navy and tried on jeans a size (ONE size) larger than my pre-pregnancy jeans.  It wasn't happening...at all...and I teared up in the dressing room.  It ruined my day (at least the next couple of hours of it) because I am SOOO tired of dealing with this gut/ass situation.  So tired of it.  I just wanted to go home.

After stopping at Target for one last attempt (and finding nothing but ugliness and, by then, I was just done) we headed home.  I felt defeated, fat, frumpy and itchy from the damn maternity jeans I am forced to wear.  And, I know our men just want us to feel all warm and fuzzy inside but DON'T tell me I am NOT fat and that I am so cute and whatnot when I just failed at simply buying a pair of jeans that fit.  When pants don't pull up over your fat ass, that's your sign.

Of course this motivates me for the week to come.  The challenge?  I have meetings all day tomorrow and then leaving town on Thursday to take H home to Louisville with me (being the fat moo cow that I am - UGH).  So I will be only able to work out Tuesday and Wednesday and, one of those days will be the day that H and I find me some damn jeans to wear - at a store that has real sizes that make sense and jeans that don't look like crap.

So how low can I get about this left over baby weight.  I am just SOOO over it.  I feel like I am trying but then, days like today, I feel like I am obviously not doing enough.  Will I EVER be able to do enough??  I'm tired of feeling and looking five months pregnant.  I was pregnant long enough...I want my damn body back.